Desirable but Dangerous
by She-who-loves-fanfiction
Summary: "James? Save me? What kind of story would that be? James saves Lily, the end. It's more likely to be Lily saves James from certain death after he puts Stinksap in McGonagall's hat. Besides, who'd want to kill me? I'm boring!" Sequel to Broken but Beautiful! Jily! Please read xx
1. A little bit annoying

**Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER IS NOT MINE. ARE WE CLEAR? YES? GOOD.  
A/N: This is the sequel to my other story, Broken but Beautiful, so if you haven't read that I'd read it first. This story overall will still make sense, but someone of the characters and plotlines may be lost on you.  
If you're from Broken but Beautiful, hey! Welcome to the sequel! Do you like the name? I did, but then again it's my story, so maybe I'm not the best judge.  
As always, enjoy! And don't forget to follow, favourite and review! xx**

"Ah. James, save me from this horrible monster." I say unenthusiastically, turning my page, not looking up as Padfoot slobbers all over me, panting. Remus snorts from next to me in the sofa, and Peter looks up from his essay, watching James and Sirius anxiously.  
"Don't worry, Lily, I'll save you!" James leaps dramatically over the coffee table and grabs Sirius, yelling loudly. Sirius transforms, and soon they're both mock-wrestling on the floor, laughing and shouting.  
"Honestly, you're like wild animals." I mutter laughingly, and they both stop, look up at me with big smiles, and transform.

Soon I'm running squealing up the stairs, pursued by an enormous stag and a huge, bear-like black dog, giggling madly. As soon as I get to James' bedroom, I slam the door shut and magically lock it, laughing as they both run into the door.  
"Bad luck, boys!"  
The door creaks open, and I peer around in surprise to see both of them, back to normal, wands out. Remus is behind them, and Peter too.  
"Now, look…" I hold my hands up in surrender. "There's no need for anything hasty-"  
"Argh!" James and Sirius run in, and James picks me up, drops me on the bed and starts to tickle me mercilessly.  
"No…no…stop it! James Potter…stop it!"  
I'm laughing uncontrollably, and so is he, and it's then I realise how close we are. He leans down, lips brushing mine, and I reach up to play with his hair-  
"EWWW! COOTIES!"  
Sirius shrieks childishly, and we break apart, me blushing wildly, James smirking.  
"And you two said you would be productive today." Remus comments dryly, sitting down on the bed next to James. "What happened to doing your Muggle Studies' essay, Sirius?"  
"I decide to go for a practical approach," Sirius grins, and Remus folds his arms.  
"What did you do?"  
Sirius pulls out a cigarette. "I am currently investigating the amazing Muggle invention that is tobacco!"  
I roll my eyes and vanish it and the box in his pocket with a flick of my wand. "Where do you keep getting those?"  
"I have my sources." He winks at me, and Peter pretends to vomit behind his back as I giggle.

"Listen, guys, I've been thinking-"  
"Hang on, everybody!" I cut in, grinning. "Hold onto your seats for James Potter's brain's first ever performance!"  
Sirius laughs as James pouts and pokes me in the side.  
"Lily, would you mind leaving for a minute? This is kind of private."  
I stick my tongue out at him. "Fine. Have your mother's meeting."  
Remus and Peter laugh, and James tries again.  
"Guys, I'm serious-"  
"You're not Sirius, he is!" I point at James' best friend, and Sirius leans around him so we can high-five as the rest of them groan.  
"Lily, stop it, I'm trying to say something! Anyway, I'm-"  
"Quitting Quidditch?"  
"No! I'm-"  
"Going on holiday to Croatia?"  
"Lily! I'm-"  
"Getting back together with Elizabeth Darren?"  
The rest of us retch playfully as James sits there, arms folded, eyebrows raised.  
"Lily Evans, I'm warning you, I will-"  
"Do what? Raise your eyebrows at me?"  
He leans over and puts his large hand over my mouth, so I lick it. James recoils with a squeal, and I jump up.  
"Come on James, spit it out!"  
"I swear…" He mutters, and I raise an eyebrow.  
"You shouldn't swear James, it's rude."  
My boyfriend glares at me and I smile sheepishly, picking up my robe and shrugging it on.  
"Alright, I'm going, I'm going, you boys have your mother's meeting in peace."  
"It is not a mother's meeting!" Sirius glares at me, mockingly appalled, and I wink at him before leaving the bedroom.

Alice is in the library, flicking through Witch Weekly, and I plonk myself down in the seat next to her, leaning in to see what she's reading.  
"Ten Beauty Tips to help you charm the special wizard in your life? Merlin, what a load of rubbish."  
"I think it's good, actually." Alice says, affronted, and I shrug.  
"That's fine. I just don't think…soaking my skin in pumpkin juice is going to make me any prettier."  
"Yeah, but you don't need it. You're already gorgeous. But the rest of us…well, we might need to do some soaking."  
"Hey," I bump her with my shoulder. "You're stunning, you know that? Way nicer and prettier than I'll ever be, even if you don't think that."  
She sighs. "Thanks Lily."  
"Is everything okay with you and Frank?"  
Alice sinks slightly lower in her chair, and sighs again. "He's been really detached lately. I'm sort of worried he's…I don't know…getting bored of me, or something."  
"Bored of you? How could he get bored of you? You are one of the least boring people I've ever met, and I've met a lot of people."  
"Yeah, but we've been together so long, I'm not sure whether…"  
"Whether what?"  
"Whether he's gotten tired of me. I mean, we are around each all the time."  
I frown, and then grab her hand supportively.  
"Do you love him, Alice?"  
"Yeah."  
"Does he love you?"  
"I…I think so."  
"Then there's no way that he's bored of you! He's probably just stressed about the NEWTs. God knows I am. Look, I'll talk to him, if you want? I won't say that you said anything, I'll just make sure that everything okay with him, yeah?"  
"That'd be great. Thanks Lils."  
"Hey, you gave me a load of good advice when it came to me and James getting together. It's great to be able to help you too."  
She lays her head on my shoulder gratefully, and I smile.

We leave the library a few minutes later, and I'm joking around.  
"And then, Petunia says, you're a freak, I don't want you around, and I said, don't worry, Tuney, I'm going off to be with my devilish dreamboat boyfriend, who was, at the time, completely imaginary- oh!"  
Someone bumps into me, knocking me backwards, and Alice grabs my arm, steadying me.  
The boy looks up, and its Trevor, Trevor...something. Trevor, sixth year, Ravenclaw.  
"Lily! I didn't see you there." He straightens his robes and looks around, face falling when he sees Alice.  
"Oh." He frowns, then forces a smile.  
With that, he turns and leaves.  
"Oh, I'm fine Trevor, thank you for asking." I say sardonically, and Alice elbows me.  
"Sshhh! He'll hear you!"  
"I hope he does!"  
"I think he's got a bit of a crush on you, Lils."  
"Yeah, right. Professor!" I call out as Professor Slughorn passes, saved from Alice's ridiculous theories about my love life, and he turns around, waistcoat looking uncomfortably tight.  
"Lily, Lily, Lily. What can I do for you, my dear?"  
"I simply wanted to wish you a good morning, sir. A lovely day, Saturday, don't you agree?"  
"Quite, quite. Say, I'm thinking of throwing another one of my little supper parties, invite Mr Cresswell and the like, to celebrate my birthday tomorrow evening. Would you be game?"  
"I'd be honoured, sir."  
"Will you be bringing Mr Potter?"  
"Probably, Professor. He is my boyfriend, see."  
He wags his finger at me, trying his best to look reproving. "Cheeky! I'll see you then."  
"I look forward to it, sir."  
I smile at him as he turns around, and Alice shakes her head in despair.  
"Why on earth would you subject yourself to two more hours of Cresswell explaining his father's connection with Gringotts? By choice? On a Sunday?"  
"I like Professor Slughorn." I shrug. "Besides, he'll be good if I ever need a favour."  
"I knew you should've been in Slytherin." I elbow her in the ribs indignantly and she laughs. "It was a compliment!"

Someone prods me hard in the back, right between my shoulder blades, and I spin around, but whoever it was is lost in the mass of students going down to the Great Hall for lunch.  
"What?" Alice looks at me confused, and then rips something off my back and hands it to me. It's a note, stuck to my back with Spellotape.

WATCH OUT EVANS. I'M COMING FOR YOU.

I furrow my brow anxiously, eyes worried, and Alice leans around to read it.  
"Godric…" She gasps. "Lily…"  
"It's probably just a joke." I assure her, trying to reassure myself, but the sharp, menacing words glare up at me, the fresh ink bleeding into the parchment.

 **Oooooh... _drama. Suspense. Mysssstery.  
_ Let me know if you liked it!  
Kop khun,  
Thanks a million,  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	2. A little bit shaken

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. As I have admitted many, many times.  
A/N: Thank you so much for all of your support, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Hello to all my new readers! How are you? ****I do _love_ cliffhangers!  
Awesomeness620: I have _so many tests_ at the moment too! My brain hurts! About your prediction, you may be right, you may be wrong. Lily _is_ being threatened by someone, and it may or may not be the Death Eaters. As for your recommendation, I sat and read To Be A Slytherin for about three hours, and I love it! Have you read the Life and Times by Jewels5? It is _amazing_. Thank you!  
Royaltynilahh: I do tend to leave cliffhangers. Anyone who reads me a lot will know that!  
Slimegamz37: Thank you? I hope you enjoy this one too!  
Choc0 Chipz: I'd save some of those OMGs, there are going to be some pretty big twists up ahead! :)  
Guests: Thank you for taking the time to review!** **  
Enjoy! xx**

I'm not ready for the next note, tucked inside my bag.  
 _THIS ISN'T A JOKE. THIS IS A GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE. AND I'VE GOT KILLER CLAWS._  
I shove it back in my bag and sit down next to Sirius, who nudges my arm in greeting and smiles. I force a weak smile in return and stare down at my empty plate.  
Merlin.  
There's a piece of parchment peeking at me from under it, its corner just visible.  
 _I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM BECAUSE YOU'RE DYING._  
I shudder, and Sirius touches me on the arm, concerned, as Alice watches me with anxious eyes.  
"What's wrong Lilybug?"  
I hand all three of them to him, and then wince as my hand brushes against another note, folded up in my pocket. I scan it and hand too him too.  
 _MUDBLOOD, MUBLOOD, BURNING BRIGHT,_  
 _BECAUSE SHE'S ON FIRE._  
He crumples them in his fist almost absent-mindedly.  
"Do you know who…?"  
"No, they were all just in my stuff," I wave my arms around helplessly. "That one was on my back, Alice took it off. I felt them stick it on."  
I shudder again.  
"Have you told James?" His face is dark and stormy. Angry.  
"No."  
"But you're going to tell him, aren't you?"  
Sirius' grey eyes, swirling with concern, bore into me like drills.  
"Well I wasn't going to-"  
"If you don't, I will." He says grimly, and Alice nods in agreement. "This is serious, Lily."  
It's a mark of the severity of the situation that he doesn't even comment on the pun.  
"Sirius-"  
James comes walking in with Peter, laughing and Sirius holds up the parchment.  
"Are you going to tell him or am I?"  
"Fine. Do I have to tell him now?"  
"Yes, or you won't, you'll just keep putting it off."  
Frowning at him, I stand up as James reaches the table.

"Merlin, I'm starving. Hi love." He kisses me on the cheek and goes to sit down.  
"Hey James. Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
"Sure. Outside?"  
"That'd be great, yeah."  
We leave the Hall, and he leans against the wall casually.  
"What's up?"  
"I got these this morning. All in my stuff."  
My boyfriend reads through them, then looks up, eyes flashing. "Who…?"  
"I don't know."  
I'm shaken, he can see, and he pulls me into a one-armed hug, rubbing my shoulder.  
"It's just a…a prank, right?"  
"I don't think so, Lils."

We break apart, and yet another piece of parchment falls lazily to the floor between us, decorated with more menacing words. James snatches it up before I can even react, and then passes it to me, looking disgusted.  
 _DON'T WORRY POTTER. SHE'LL BE OUT OF YOUR WAY SOON ENOUGH._  
I flip it over, and the ink is fresh, smudging and staining my fingers as I brush against it.  
 _IT'S A SHAME, REALLY. SHE'S PRETTY._  
My stomach turns over, and I grab at James' sleeve, hating myself for showing that I'm scared, skin crawling. James takes it off me, and pulls my hair out of its braid and runs his long fingers through it soothingly.  
"Nothing's going to happen to you Lily. Okay?"  
I nod, but I'm can't stop myself from shaking.

* * *

I'm biting my nails as Remus and I sit in the library that night. He's scribbling away at his Transfiguration essay, but I'm staring blankly at the empty roll in front of me on the table like it's going to write itself. Everytime I close my eyes, the notes flash up in front of them, even though they're buried at the bottom of James' trunk, underneath broken quills and empty inkwells, far away from me.  
I shudder.  
"And the wand movement…the wand movement is important because…Lily? Do you know why the wand movement is important in Cross-Species Changing Spells?"  
"Umm…it's something to do with the complexity of the species' cellular make-up, I think." I say shakily, and Remus nods.  
"Yeah, it's something like that. Thanks."  
I go to speak again, to say something, anything, but I close my mouth and wrap my arms around myself, taking a deep breath and trying to remember what I was going to write about for my Potions essay, then pick up my quill and slowly write a title.

 _Potion Recognition Spells and their wand movements:_ _  
_ _Potion Recognition Spells are commonly used in extreme situations, usually when a witch or wizard has been poisoned by a wrongly-brewed potion. In this case, the Healers at the scene would try to identify the potion that was being made, and from there could do their best to work out what mistakes were made to put the witch or wizard in the position that meant that help had to be called. This process has saved lives._

Only…three feet to go.  
Yay.  
"I'm tired," I stand up. "I think I'm going to go to bed, okay Remus?"  
"Okay. Do you want me to walk you back to the Head dorms?"  
I hesitate and shake my head.  
"Thanks, but I'll be fine. See you tomorrow." I squeeze his hand, roll up my essay and sling my bag over my shoulder, nodding at Madam Pince as I leave.  
I get halfway down the corridor, and the bell chimes five minutes to curfew, the sound echoing in the silent, empty corridor. Mentally shaking myself, I start to walk and then smile in relief as James comes around the corner.  
"Ready for rounds?"  
"Yeah, just let me drop my bag off."

He takes my bag off me and shoulders it, but doesn't notice the piece of parchment that flutters out of it to lay, face up, on the stone floor.  
 _FIVE._

 **FIVE.** **  
Oh yes, I'm going to be all dramatic.  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	3. A little bit woebegone

**Disclaimer: I didn't get Harry Potter for Christmas. My hopes were dashed.  
A/N: Hi! Sorry it's been a while, and if you celebrate it, I hope you had a great Christmas!  
The next chapter is a bit more intense, but I might publish it after this, so you might get to read it sooner rather than later. Thank you for all of your support!  
Enjoy xx**

"Hey, Frank!"  
"Hey, Lily." He smiles tiredly at me, and slows down so that I can walk next to him. "How can I help?"  
I don't bother beating about the bush.  
"It's Alice."  
"What about her? Is she okay?" Frank tenses with worry, and I smile.  
"She's fine, just a bit worried that you might be…getting bored of her, or something. She said you've been really detached lately."  
He laughs, a proper laugh, out loud.  
"Yeah, I suppose I have. Listen, it's only because…I…um…I think I might ask her to marry me."  
"What? That's amazing Frank!" I let out a squeal, and he shushes me, smiling.  
"Yes, but I'm just getting a bit nervous. I'll make sure I pay more attention to her, though, okay?"  
"Thank you. I just hate seeing her so woebegone." I giggle. "There's a new word for you. Woebegone."  
He shakes his head laughingly. "Only you, Lily. Only you."

The door to the girls' bathroom bursts open, and Alice comes out, crying.  
"Alice?"  
Frank jogs forward and she wraps her arms around his neck.  
"Sshhh…it's okay honey…"  
He hugs her tightly, rubbing her back, and she takes some deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, while I hover nearby anxiously.  
"Frank…there was a person…"  
"Okay," His voice is low and encouraging, but laced with concern. "What happened?"  
"Someone…they grabbed my arm, I was in…in the…the Divination classroom, no, I'd just left, and…and…they were invisible, or something…and they whispered in my ear…I don't think I've ever been so scared…it was just me as well..." She shudders, and I rub her arm sympathetically as Frank continues to hold her close, his mere presence calming her down faster than I ever could.  
"It might have been James or Sirius?" I suggest, but I can feel my fear, hard and heavy, in the bottom of my stomach like a stone. "It might have been their idea of a joke, I'll ask them not to do it again, okay?"

"No." She shakes her head vehemently. "No, it wasn't them."  
"Are you sure?" Frank's face is steely and determined.  
"Lily…I think it might be the same person who…wrote those things. They whispered in my ear, I could…I could feel them _breathing_."  
"And what did they say Alice?" My voice is too high, too shrill. "What did they say?"  
"They said…they said…have you said goodbye to Evans yet… oh… _Lily_!"  
I'm suddenly breathless, gasping for air.  
Frank bites his lip as he looks at me with a concerned expression, and I think I nearly fall, because someone's gripping my arm.  
"Lily? Is Alice alright? What happened?"  
 _Peter._  
"I…I have to…I mean…I don't…I don't know."  
I'm a mess.  
"Do you want to go outside?"  
"Yeah." I nod, too fast, and my head rings. "Let's go."  
The air outside is pleasantly warm, and I tug off my robe, shoving it into my bag like it'll make everything go away.  
"I'm fine." I'm trying to reassure myself more than him.  
"I know."  
"Thank you."  
He didn't have to pretend along with me.

The Whomping Willow sways rhythmically in the breeze, and I stare at it until my eyes water.  
"James mentioned something about you getting notes," Peter starts. "Is that what happened?"  
"Sort of." I nod, nod again, and watch as a single crow lands on top of the bridge.  
"James is at Quidditch practise," Peter tells me like I don't already know. "You could go sit down there?"  
"Yeah. I might. Thanks Peter."  
He smiles. "Anytime Lily."

The stands are empty aside from a little Ravenclaw girl, who's scribbling away at what looks like an essay, so I leave her alone and climb a bit higher, still wary of how high I get from the ground.  
James is wearing the Quidditch jersey I love to steal and wear in bed, so I spot him easily, directing the team around the pitch. I'm not really watching when they start some sort of passing drill, but I smile as James soars up beside me a few minutes later, eyebrows raised.  
"Alright Evans?"  
I force a smile. "Fine."  
Instantly his posture changes, and he holds out a hand. "Wait there."  
He flies over to the other players, shouts something, and they all begin to disperse, flying down and dismounting, holding their brooms over their shoulders as they walk off towards the changing rooms, shoving each other playfully and laughing.

James hops off his broom as soon as he's over the stands and lays it carefully out on a bench, then comes over to sit next to me, automatically reaching for my hand.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing."  
"Come on, Lily."  
"Fine."  
I explain what happened with Alice.  
His shoulders square, and I squeeze his hand, trying to calm him down.  
"It's no big deal, James."  
"No big deal? _No big deal_? They're…they're threatening to…to kill you!"  
I let out a little squeak, then blush and scowl at my weakness.  
"I think we should go to McGonagall."  
"James-"  
"They have threatened to kill you, Lily. Multiple times."  
I lean against him and he shivers as my hair tickles his neck.  
"I know. But…telling someone about it…it'll make it more real."  
"This is real, Lily. We're going to have to face it eventually."  
The cold permeates through the thin fabric of my shirt as the wind blows, swaying the trees.

* * *

"Lily? Are you…"  
Remus trails off as I turn around to face him, eyebrows raised, hair freshly washed and fluffy, ready for Slughorn's dinner party. My long orange dress is smart and flowy, leaving a lot to the imagination.  
"Yes?"  
"I just…nothing. Don't worry. James just came in downstairs.  
"Oh really? Did he go to McGonagall?"  
"Um…I think so?"  
"Without me?"  
"Uh…yes?"  
"Right." I breathe out heavily. "Right."

The common room is deathly silent as I walk down the stairs; James is hovering anxiously by the sofa, biting his nails, which is something he only does when he knows I'm angry with him. It's a habit he picked up from me, just like I now run my hand through my hair when I'm flirting, or nervous.  
"Hello, James!"  
My voice is falsely cheerful and bright.  
"Hi…" His voice gives him away: it's too high and he's speaking too fast.  
He can't lie to me.  
"How are you darling?"  
I haven't called him darling before, and the word feels odd on my tongue, foreign.  
"I'm…fine. Listen, Lily-"  
"Are you nearly ready to go down to the party? I'm simply _famished_."  
"In a minute. It's just…you know we said we'd go to Professor McGonagall together?"  
"Yes?"  
Remus fights to hide a smile and raises his eyebrows at me exasperatedly.  
"Well…the thing is…I sort of…already went…"  
He gets gradually quieter as he trails off, and seems to shrink as I glare at him.  
"You went? Without me? What happened to 'us' going to McGonagall?"  
"I'm sorry, I just…"  
"You just what?"  
"I…I was just worried?"  
He looks so adorable, cheeks flushed and small, that it's hard to remember that I'm supposed to be mad at him.

Remus jerks his head towards the door awkwardly, and then goes to leave.  
"Let's just…talk about this later, okay? I'll meet you down at Slughorn's office."  
He nods, and I link arms with Remus, who rolls his eyes at my tactics but leaves me be as we leave the common room.

 **I'm thinking of doing a another update, I'm not sure, either today or tomorrow, so another chapter will be on the way soon. The next chapter is...a bit...cliffhangery if that's a word. The note-sender makes another move, and it's a little too close for comfort!  
Reviews make me update faster! And are also just really nice to receive!  
Thank you!  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	4. A little bit terrified

**Disclaimer: MWA HA HA HA! IT IS FINALLY MINE! Wait...WHAT? It's NOT? *sighs* It's not.  
A/N: I did decide to update today! Lucky you! Or not so lucky you...  
YouBlitheringIdiot- Thank you! This one is a bit scarier.  
marauding-mischief78- If you thought the last one was bad...well...sorry?  
Enjoy xx**

I wake up with a start, like someone's thrown cold water on me. I feel oddly light, like something's missing, and something crackles near my chest as I go to sit up.  
"Ouch!" I wince as my finger catches on something sharp, and pull off the piece of parchment that's pinned to my nightgown.  
Words, dark ominous words decorate the parchment, and I go to stand up when I notice something, and run to look in the mirror.

"James!"  
I forget that we argued, I forget that I'm supposed to be mad.  
Kicking his door open, I shove him awake.  
"What?"  
"James!" My voice is sharp, and panicky, and he sits up, alert instantly at my tone.  
"Are you alright? What's wrong? Are you...your _hair!"  
_ My waist length hair has been shorn off just below my ears roughly, and I push the note towards him. James reads it quickly, and his face flushes with anger and worry.  
"What are you doing?"  
"I'm going to Dumbledore." He pulls on the shirt he was wearing yesterday, all traces of lassitude gone, and yanks on a pair of trousers.  
"What? Now?"  
"Yes, _now_. Can you hand me that mirror?"  
I pass it to him and he speaks clearly to it.  
"Sirius Black."

A familiar sleepy voice echoes from it.  
"Merlin, Prongs, it's six in the morning!"  
"Just get over here mate."  
"What? Is everything alright?"  
"Lily'll explain. I'm going to Dumbledore. You know the password for here. See you in a bit." He addresses me more than Sirius, and chucks the now normal mirror down on the bed, kisses me on the forehead and runs out.  
I'm still stunned, hand in my now abnormally short hair. My hand relaxes, and the note drifts lazily to the floor, message glaring at me eerily.

 _NEXT TIME IT'LL BE HER NECK._

"Lily? What's going on? What happened to your _hair_?"  
I point at the piece of parchment and he crouches down to read it, then lets out a growl.  
"Well that was a mistake."  
"What was?"  
"Going anywhere near our Lilybug."  
I smile at him, and he ruffles my now short hair in comforting way. "I'd get dressed, if I were you. Unless you want to speak to Dumbledore in your pyjamas."  
"Good idea." I go back into my bedroom, pick up my school uniform and pull it on, brushing my teeth in the bathroom. When I'm done, I brush through my hair, which feels heavy, tainted, and slide in a hair clip. It feels strange, and scary, the fact that someone got close enough to me to cut my hair and could've easily slit my throat.

I shudder.

James comes in a minute later, followed closely by Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. I'm perched on the bed, Sirius' arm around me, shaking and peering, genuinely frightened, at the parchment on the floor. Then I laugh internally; I'm eighteen years of age! I've been cursed! My parents were killed by Death Eaters! It's just a piece of paper! A rather scary piece of paper. Another one. That casually threatens to kill me.  
Right.  
Just a piece of paper.

James picks up the note without a word, and hands it to the Headmaster, who reads it, brow furrowed, before handing it to the Transfiguration professor. She lets it an audible gasp at the content, and looks at Dumbledore almost beseechingly.  
"This is very distressing, Miss Evans."  
"You're telling me." I mutter, and he chuckles.  
"So what are you going to do about it?" James asks impatiently.  
Dumbledore says nothing, but withdraws his wand from the folds of his robes and draws a straight, horizontal line in the air in front of him. Nothing happens, but he nods satisfactorily to himself and stows his wand back away again.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?"  
Sirius folds his arms, and the Headmaster smiles warmly.  
"That, Mr Black, was a rather useful little charm that detects foreign magical signatures. There are none in the vicinity that I do not recognise, so we are forced to assume that the culprit is someone from the castle, or they have masked the trace using Dark Magic."  
"I wonder who _that_ could be." Sirius raises his eyebrows. "Who else would go randomly threaten to kill people?"  
I laugh a little nervously. "If you're suggesting Voldemort, I doubt he'd try to kill me. I mean, I may be special, but I'm not _that_ special."  
"No, Miss Evans, I do not believe it is Tom who is threatening you."  
Who in the name of Merlin's left sock is _Tom?  
_ "Tom?" James wonders aloud.  
"Voldemort's real name."  
I snort, not being able to help myself. "No wonder he changed it. You can't exactly strike fear in the hearts of everyone with a name like that. Imagine it," I giggle. "I am _Tom_."  
James grins at me; Professor McGonagall raises her eyebrows disapprovingly.

"For now I can only suggest that take extra caution not to endanger yourself, Miss Evans. This will not go unpunished."  
Professor Dumbledore smiles at me, nods and James and Sirius and sweeps out of the room. Professor McGonagall draws herself up to her full height.  
"I suggest you all get ready for your lessons."  
As the door swings shut behind her, I hate myself for the tears sliding down my face.

My breathing's all funny, and I curl in on myself, like I can squash the emptiness in my chest, and the panic. James and Sirius are talking about something worriedly, I can hear by the tone of their voices, and I squeeze my eyes shut, breathing in and out, in out, counting up as I go.  
"First the notes, now this-"  
 _Seven_.  
"And if they're not going to do anything-"  
 _Sixteen.  
_ "I can't believe that Professor McGonagall-"  
 _Twenty.  
_ "Lily?"  
"Yeah?"  
James pulls me into him, and Sirius speaks, loudly and clearly, so I can hear it over the ringing in my ears.  
"I'm going to go back to the dorm, if that's okay. Peter will be having a heart attack."  
The door shuts with a _bang_.

I sit up, pushing James away determinedly.  
"I'm fine."  
He nods, but his eyes betray him; I can see the tears glistening in them.

 **I...um...what did you think?  
Don't forget to follow, favourite and review!  
Kop khun,  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	5. A little bit organised

**Disclaimer: It's not mine, but I don't care! I just wrote the end of this story, and I'm buzzing!  
A/N: IMPORTANT QUESTION: I have this story written already, which means I can cut bits out and stuff. I'm thinking of writing a few chapters in James' perspective so I need to know which chapters you want me to write again in his POV. Basically, if you really like a chapter or want to see it from James' POV, let me know! I'll credit you for your suggestion at the start! Many thanks!**  
 **Awesomeness620: Why thank you! I try my best!**  
 **YouBlitheringIdiot: It's creepy alright...who do you think it is?**  
 **Marauding-mischief78: I was laughing so much when I wrote it, I'm glad someone else found it funny! I have no intentions to kill you, but someone else wants to kill Lily...**  
 **Scott Peimann: Thank you for your review: I'm 13, so you sound a lot like my teacher! I write what I enjoy writing, but if you don't like it, that's fine, everyone has different tastes.**  
 **Okay everyone, enjoy xx**

Playing anxiously with the coarse ends of my bobbed hair, I twist the red strands between my fingers as I follow James down the corridor towards the Great Hall. Eyes follow me as I stumble nervously, and the whispers sound like hisses in my ear, sending chills down my spine. I'm a nervous wreck as I shuffle along the flagstones, shaking with anger and fear, so when my old friend Elizabeth Darren giggles and whispers in her friend's ear condescendingly, I lose it.  
"What d'you reckon happened to Evans' hair? It looks _awful_."  
"Darren!" My voice is more authoritative than I expected it would be, ringing around the corridor. "What was that?"  
"I was merely admiring your new haircut, Evans."  
"Oh really? Well if you like it _that_ much, I'm sure I could do the same to yours." I raise my wand threateningly, and her glare is piercing as she sweeps past me into the bustling Great Hall.

"Lily-"  
"How did they get in the tower? No one else knows the password."  
"I mean, Sirius, Remus and Peter know it, but they wouldn't..."  
"I know they wouldn't. Apart from them only Alice knows it, and the prefects, but they can only use it when given permission, and the enchantments prevent them from entering otherwise."  
"I know, I know. We'll have to change it again."  
"And we change it every week! How on earth...unless they were listening, but you'd know, you have the Map..."  
"I didn't last night." He looks at me sheepishly. "I leant it to Peter to go down to the kitchens after curfew."  
"Okay, so let's make a list of everyone who could know the password."  
I stop hesitantly by the enormous doors, peering in at the crowds, and James looks in longingly.  
"You go eat, I'm not hungry."  
"You're not going to come in?"  
"I mean, I...I don't fancy it. I'll just go back to the common room or something."  
"Lily, you can't go alone!"  
"Why not?"  
"Uh, maybe because there's a lunatic threatening to kill you!"  
"Lily? What happened to your hair?"

Remus emerges from the Great Hall, finishing off his piece of toast, looking confused, and I grab his elbow, pointing at the tables inside.  
"James. Go. Eat. I'll see you in Transfiguration. I'll be fine, I'm with Remus. Go!"  
With that, I drag Remus down the corridor with me.  
"Um, Lily? What's going on?"  
I explain what happened, and his eyes grow steadily darker and narrower.  
"So what do you want to do now?"  
"I'm going to make a list of the prefects, see if there are any of them who could get into the Heads' dorm."  
"Alright then, let's do it."  
We turn into the library, and Remus flicks his wand, grabbing the quill, inkwell and parchment that appear and dropping his bag onto the floor.

"Okay, so there's me, obviously, and James, and you, and Aleena, and Ernest, and Katie, and Trevor, and Freya, and the two Slytherin prefects, um..."  
"Gibbon and Brookes."  
"Yeah, that's it. Okay, so I've starred the suspects...now...what do we know about them?"

 _Lily- HG_  
 _James-HB_

 _Remus- Gryffindor_  
 _Trusted._

 _*Freya-Gryffindor_  
 _Lovely, I tutored her in Charms last year. Half-blood. Motive: None. Opportunity: Could have got password off fellow Gryffindor or overheard us entering: knows where the Heads' dorm is because of Quidditch practice. (Chaser)_

 _Aleena-Ravenclaw_  
 _Ruled out. Is ill, in the hospital wing with stomach flu, can't move. Source: Lily Evans, eyewitness._

 _Trevor-Ravenclaw_  
 _Ruled out. Has blood disease, forgot to take his medicine and spent night in Hospital Wing. Source: Remus Lupin, from Madam Pomfrey._

 _*Ernest-Hufflepuff_  
 _Motive: James went out with his ex-girlfriend last year, much to his chagrin. Revenge? Pure-blood. Opportunity: Minimal, though could have overheard password from Gryffindor friend Frank Longbottom._

 _*Katie-Hufflepuff_  
 _Motive: None. Muggle-born Opportunity: Minimal. Doesn't know where Heads' dorm is, went to Gryffindor common room last time instead._

 _*Brookes-Slytherin_  
 _Motive: Pureblood views of house? Half-blood. Opportunity: Possible, the Slytherin common room is near to the Heads' dorms._

 _*Gibbon-Slytherin_  
 _Motive: Pureblood views of house? Pure-blood. Friends with Severus Snape. (Opportunity same as above.)  
_

I scan the list again, but my eyes keep snagging on the last thing I wrote.  
 _Friends with Severus Snape.  
_ The image of the boy Gibbon darts into my mind, and I visualise the sharp cheekbones and the gaunt face I never really thought about before. I jump to attention as the bell rings, shaken out of my reverie, but I'm frowning as I fold up the list carefully and clasp it in my hand, holding it to my chest, shuddering as my shorn hair brushes the base of my neck.

 **Okay, so sorry if this was a bit less plot moving but I wanted to introduce the suspects and everything, just to make this that little bit more exciting! Who do YOU think did it? Let me know!  
Don't forget to follow, favourite and review!  
Merci,  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	6. A little bit troubled

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.  
Enjoy xx**

"It was Snivellus, I just know it!"  
James paces up and down, waving his hands angrily.  
"James, I know you don't like him, I don't exactly love him myself-"  
"He's always had in for you, ever since he called you a-"  
"He was my best friend for nearly seven years!"  
"He called you a…Mu-ggleborn!"  
"Only because _you_ were bullying him!"  
"I wasn't bullying him, just having a bit of fun and that still doesn't excuse being horrible to the one person who stuck up for him in the first place!"  
"No, it doesn't, and _that's_ why we're not friends anymore. But I doubt he'd try to kill me, James!"  
"I wouldn't put it past him." Sirius grumbles darkly, scanning the suspect list.  
"But why all the taunting, and the games?" Alice folds her arms from her seat on the sofa of the Heads' common room. "As horrible as it sounds, why not just kill you on the spot?"  
"They must want the build-up." Remus runs his hand through his hair, something all of the boys do as well as me; a habit we've picked up from seven years of James. "The notes and the impromptu haircut are like little hints, threats, clues. Taunting you."  
"I still think it was Snivellus. Probably used his mate Monkey Man to get in here, too."  
"Monkey Man?" Alice looks vaguely revolted.  
"Gibbon." Remus clarifies, explaining Sirius' new nickname for the prefect with a tired sigh.  
"He's always looked a bit shifty, that one." Frank pulls a face, exaggerating a pout to show off his cheekbones. "Got killer cheekbones."  
"Someone's trying to kill Lily, and you're thinking about _cheekbones_?"  
Marlene glares at him, hands on her hips, and he cowers under her stern gaze.  
"I'm just saying…"  
"What guy notices cheekbones?"  
"My guy." Alice wraps her arms around Frank and plants a kiss on his cheek.  
"Get a _room_." Sirius and Marlene mutter together, and Remus sits down heavily on the sofa next to me, snatching the list off Sirius and reading the first name aloud.  
"Okay, so Freya."  
"Freya Maclean? Sixth year?"  
"Yeah."  
"Oh, no, she wouldn't hurt a fly. Borrowed my nail polish _and_ brought it back."  
Marlene explains, nodding her head, and James nods too.  
"Maclean wouldn't go near you, Lily. Damn good Chaser, she is."  
"Yeah, well, my dad played as Beater when he was at Hogwarts, didn't make him any less capable of murder. He even had a Beater's bat to hit people with."  
Sirius points out, swinging an imaginary Beater's bat, and I let out an exasperated noise.  
"I don't think Freya would try and hurt me, but we can't cross her off yet. Who's next, Remus?"

"Ernest."  
"The Hufflepuff? He's in the kitchens more than we are these days."  
"James! Don't be mean! Ernest's alright."  
"Yeah, but Prongs here dated his girlfriend Jessica two days after she broke up with Ernie, so he's never really loved James."  
"Jessica?" Frank looks confused, and Sirius elucidates.  
"The one with the nice boobs."  
All of the guys make appreciative noises, and I smack James on the arm, hard; Alice shoves Frank off the armchair and Marlene whacks Sirius over the head with a cushion repeatedly.  
"Ow! Stop it woman! I was just describing- ow! Stop it!"

"Next!" I declare loudly.

"Katie. She's Hufflepuff too."  
"The short one? Blonde?"  
"Yes, that Katie."  
"The one who when I asked her out she turned the colour of-"  
"Sirius we have no interest in the girls you've dated!"  
"Alright, alright, there's no need to be so-"  
"Katie's nice," Peter said thoughtfully. "I helped her in Herbology."  
"Sirius Black, you are without a doubt the most infuriating-"  
"Marlene McKinnon, it's no wonder I haven't asked you out-"  
"Sirius," I keep my voice low and calm, because Mar looks like she's either about to burst into tears or kill something. "Would you mind going and checking that there's no one near here on the Map? That would be great, thanks."  
He gets up, face a little flushed, and you can't miss the apology in his face as he pulls on his robe and speeds out of the room.  
"Finally." Remus says a little uncertainly, looking around at the silent room. "Brookes and Gibbon, from Slytherin."  
"I reckon it was one of them." James declares, and Frank nods his approval of the statement.  
"What about the Ravenclaw Prefects?" Mar's voice is a little quieter, but steely. "You didn't mention them."  
"That's because they were both in the Hospital Wing," I explain, gesticulating broadly. "Aleena has the stomach flu, I saw her in there myself, and Remus heard from Madam Pomfrey that Trevor was in there too."  
"He's got this rare blood disease, and was in there because he forgot his medicine or something." Remus finishes off, and puts the list back down on the coffee table.  
"What about us?" Mar asks calmly. "What if it was one of us?"  
James stops pacing and comes to stand next to me as I stand up.  
"I trust all of you. I don't think any of you would put my life in danger, and that's why James and I trust you with the password. Whoever this is, we didn't tell them the password ourselves, because the only people we've trusted enough to tell are you."  
"Hear, hear." Frank downs his goblet of pumpkin juice in one go, and we lapse into a thoughtful silence, James' fingers brushing mine.  
The door creaks open and Sirius steps in, quietly shutting the door behind him; there's a slim piece of paper in this hand, which he holds up silently, face troubled.  
It simply reads: _FOUR._

 **FOUR.  
This was just a bit of a recap, sorting out everything in the last chapter, so the next chapter will be a bit more exciting. Sorry about the VERY long wait! Don't forget to review!  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	7. A little bit powerless

**Disclaimer: If it was mine, I wouldn't have to read the part where Sirius dies every time I want to read the Order Of The Phoenix. Ugh.  
A/N: OKAY WARNING DRAMA ALERT BEEP BEEP BEEP  
Don't forget to follow, favourite and review! Thanks!  
Enjoy xx**

"I'm _starving_." I moan, hand in hand with James as I drag him into the Hall.  
"Why didn't you eat earlier?"  
"Didn't feel like it." I shrug, and he sighs, poking me in the side.  
"Lily!"  
I sit down, grinning, and slide my bag under the table.

I'm just reaching for the chips when the world implodes. At least, I think it does.  
My hand has just closed the edge of the bowl when everything seems to disappear, and it's just me and the not weird at all relaxing voice in the back of my mind.  
 _Stand up_ , it whispers. _Stand up_.  
That's not weird at all, I want to say, but I stand up. The floor's still there, because I can feel it as I walk towards the doors. I'm floating, I think, I'm not sure, and then I stop, because thinking's overrated anyway. _Now, now, Mudblood, that's silly. Who needs to think?  
_ I frown, or I would frown, but I can't.

 _Go to sleep._ The voice whispers soothingly. _Go on, go to sleep.  
That's funny,_ I think. _When did I lie down?  
_ Someone grabs my wrist, and I turn up to look at them blindly.  
 _James_ , the name drifting up from somewhere _. He looks worried.  
He's nothing, _the voice whispers. _Now, speak_.  
The words I'm supposed to say float into my mind, and I open my mouth, then force it shut again. _No._ I mutter dimly. _No thanks._

 _Speak!_

 _No, I don't think I will._

 _SPEAK!_

I do then, words pouring out of my mouth helplessly, like a river. A scream erupts from my mouth, torn from me against my will, and then I speak again, vision cloudy.  
 _Ah._ The voice whispers triumphantly. _Good.  
_ My hand fumbles in my pocket for a piece of paper that definitely wasn't there before; I throw it weakly to the ground.  
"Get out." I mumble, but make no sound.  
 _Gladly._

My legs shake, the world comes rushing back; suddenly everything's back again, and it's only James' strong arms that stop me from hitting the floor.

* * *

Angry voices from further down the Hospital Wing wake me up. Rubbing my side, I sit up and climb slowly out of bed, smoothing out my wrinkled clothes. The curtains are pulled around my bed, and I push them aside. I feel light-headed, sort of absent from my body, but other than that I'm okay.  
"This is the second time this _week_ her life has been threatened!" James shouts, and Professor McGonagall frowns sternly. "Kindly keep your voice down, Mr Potter. There are patients in here, including Miss Evans."  
"What's going on?" I ask groggily, and they both turn around.  
"Get back into bed!" Madam Pomfrey appears from her office with a shriek, and I sway at the sudden movement.  
"Come on Lils," James loops his arm around my shoulders and practically drags me back to bed.  
"What happened?" I repeat tiredly.  
"Imperius Curse." He mutters. "And they're not going to do anything about it."  
"I'm afraid we don't have sufficient evidence-"  
"It's an Unforgivable Curse! Next time it could be the Cruciatus! And we all know what comes after that!"  
I clap my hands over my ears at the shout, the volume making my head ring. James falls silent, looking panicked and puts me back down on the bed, tucking the duvet around me.

"I want to see what happened!" I stay sitting up, frustrated and Madam Pomfrey pushes me back down adamantly.  
"Later. You need to rest."  
"I'm fine!" I insist.  
"Lily, you have been through a shock-"

I throw the covers off and jump up, ignoring the dizzy spell that hits me instantly.  
"Anyone got a Pensieve? I want to see this in action!"

Professor McGonagall sighs.

 _I watch myself sit down at the table, laughing and chatting, and it's bizarre. My hair looks_ awful _.  
Suddenly my body jerks and stands up, walking robotically out of the Hall, and James spins around, looking confused.  
_

I'm spontaneously, inexplicably distracted.  
 _God he's hot._  
FOCUS LILY. FOCUS.  
His eyes though-  
FOCUS. THIS IS SERIOUS.  
HA, NO IT'S SIRIUS  
 **LILY**

 _James gets up and hurries after me, and Remus is close behind him, both of them looking confused. I'm lying on the floor in the Entrance Hall, arms and legs sprawled out, eyes blank and staring up at the ceiling, empty. My boyfriend grabs my wrist in desperation, checking for a pulse, and I spin towards him, face furious but overshadowed by muddled confusion._

 _"Why hello, James."  
My mouth spits words in my voice, but it's the wrong tone, harsh and too slow, like I'm a puppet, like the wizard in my head is a ventriloquist, and the sight and even the thought makes me shudder.  
"I won't keep you, but I just thought, being a kind and thoughtful person myself, to remind you to say goodbye to Evans. She doesn't have long to go now!"  
I take a piece of paper from my pocket and let it drop to the floor, and Remus picks it up, frowning concernedly, as I collapse into James' arms._

"What did the paper say?" is my first question as I emerge from the Pensieve in Dumbledore's office, and James hands it to me. It's in the familiar handwriting.

 _THREE._

 **THREE.  
MWA HA HA HA WE'RE GETTING CLOSER!  
AND IT MIGHT BE WHO YOU THINK IT IS, IT MIGHT NOT BE, BUT KEEP IN MIND: THIS COULD BE CANON. IT IS NOT AN AU.  
JUST SOMETHING TO BEAR IN MIND.  
If you liked it, please follow favourite and review! Thank you!  
Arigato,  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx  
**


	8. A little bit sassy

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE. ARRGHHHHHH.  
A/N: Yes, apologies for scaring you, but gosh I am excited! This is FUN!  
Sorry it took a while to update again! I have been SUPER busy with school!  
Don't forget to follow, favourite ad review with what you thought!  
Enjoy! xx**

James is driving me crazy.  
I mean, yes, okay, there is a crazy lunatic trying to kill me, he's allowed to be slightly concerned.  
But, _seriously_?

"You coming down to Hogsmeade, Prongs?"  
Sirius pokes his head around the Heads' common room door with a cheeky grin, and James gets up from the sofa where we're sat, ahem, _doing our homework_.  
"Oh yeah, yeah, I'll come."  
I stand up, picking my robe where I slung it over the back of the sofa, and James frowns at me, hands outstretched, looking panicked.  
"What are you doing?!"  
"...coming down to Hogsmeade?"  
"But...why?"  
"You two need a chaperone, I haven't forgotten the last time you got so drunk that you transformed and then couldn't change back to human again, and Sirius was too busy laughing to help you so you head-butted the common room door to wake me up and left a massive dent that now means that the house elves hate us. I'm coming with you!"  
"But Lily, you can't come!"  
"Why not?" My tone is stern, daring either of them to say what's plainly written across James' face.  
Sirius gulps and starts haltingly. "Umm...we were going on a...boys' night out!"  
"Without Remus or Peter?"  
"Um...yes! Who needs Remus and Peter?"

The door to the common room opens behind them, and Peter stumbles in, Remus behind him.  
"We're ready to go down to Hogsmeade, Sirius!"  
There's a minute of deafening silence.  
"Oh, yes, _who needs Remus and Peter?_ " My voice is deadly quiet, calm.  
"What's going on?"  
Remus sounds tired, and I smile at him.  
"Nothing. I'm just going to do some homework, Remus. Have fun in Hogsmeade!"  
With that, I collect up my books and head for the door, bumping Sirius with my shoulder forcefully as I go.  
"Where're you going?"  
 _Oh for the love of God-_  
"To flush myself down the toilet. I fancy joining Moaning Myrtle."  
"Lily-"  
"What, James?"  
I spin to face him, and he looks pained.  
"Nothing? I didn't think so! Have a nice night."  
I yank open the door, and as it closes behind me I hear Peter ask, "What's got her knickers in a twist?"

" _Bloody rat,_ " I hiss as I storm down the corridor, books clutched so tightly to my chest that they hurt.  
A small boy in Slytherin robes turns the corner in front of me and approaches me, and I slow reluctantly. He's all elbows and knees, long and lanky, a scrawny boy with dark skin and cat-like eyes. Fourth-year.  
"We're going to get you, you know. Filthy Mudblood."  
The venom in his tone sends a chill through me, but I fight my instincts to panic and speak coldly, delighted at how steady and firm I sound.  
"Ten points from Slytherin for inappropriate language. It's nearly curfew, get back to your common room."  
"Scared for us to be out after dark, Evans?"  
That's Mulciber, the burly, muscled Slytherin in my year, who comes around the corner, followed closely by Severus, I realise with a jolt.  
"More like worried you'll wet your pants when night falls and give the house elves an unnecessary job to do."  
Mulciber laughs, a genuine appreciatory laugh, but there's a hunger in his eyes that I don't like.  
I know that the rational thing to do would be to walk away, to not pick a fight, just to leave it, but I'm not in that kind of mood.  
 _It's game time._

"Brave words coming from the girl who won't go anywhere without her pack of bodyguards."  
"In case it escaped your incredibly observant notice, Mulciber, I'm alone now."  
 _Damn. Shouldn't have drawn attention to that, shouldn't have drawn attention to that-  
_ "So you are. Our own little Mudblood Head Girl."  
"Have you no more insults than Mudblood? I'm getting pretty bored of that one. I know who my parents are, thank you very much."  
"Are? Or were? I heard from valuable sources that they're dead, the Muggles. I bet they screamed like babies as they died."  
"As least they weren't so cowardly that they hid behind a mask and followed a crazed psychopath. Isn't that what your parents do, Mulciber?"  
He laughs again. "Yes they do, little Mudblood. Yes they do. And they'll be very pleased to meet you."  
"I have no intention of coming anywhere near the murderous pigs you call parents."  
"But they'd so like to meet you!" He pouts, and on others it could look childish, silly, but on him it looks creepy. Menacing.  
"Well they'll just have to be disappointed. Just like they were when they gave birth to you, it seems."  
"Careful Mudblood. Careful."  
Behind him, Severus shakes his head the tiniest amount at me, eyes fearful. I look away.

The fourth year barges past me, knocking my books to the floor.  
"Hey!"  
"It was an accident!" He shouts as he speed walks off down the corridor, and I shout back.  
"Sounds like your birth!"  
Mulciber claps appreciatively.  
"You don't stop, do you?"  
"Never."  
I pick my books up and go to walk off, back to the Heads' dorm. I'm tired now.  
"Hey, hey, hey, where you going? We were still talking!"  
Mulciber blocks my way with one massive, paw-like hand.  
"Yeah, _were_ talking. Past tense. Move out of my way."  
"You're fun, Evans. Best hope you and I don't meet after dark."  
Flipping him the bird, I stomp off, glaring as Severus, who's just standing there, looking lost, eyes like stone.

Outside the Heads' common room there's a figure, cloaked in shadow.  
"Hello? Are you waiting for someone?"  
"Yes." The voice is quiet, hoarse and scratchy, and familiar, though I don't know where from.  
"Yeah? Who are you waiting for?"  
He breathes in, a long restrained inhale, and my mind reacts before my body does.  
 _The person who cast the Imperius Curse.  
_ "You."  
I left my wand in the common room.  
The corridor is empty.

"Are you going to kill me?"  
I think I'm crying. I'm not sure. I do know that my voice is shaking, swerving up and down in pitch and volume like a ship in a storm.  
"I don't know."  
There is honest confusion in his voice.  
"If you are going to kill me, just do it."  
I tilt up my chin defiantly. I do not want to die crying.  
"Evans-"  
"It's Lily." I'm surprised at myself for my interjection. "Lily. If I'm going to die, that's what I want to be called before I do."  
"Lily..." His voice is ragged, pained, hurting as it chokes out my name. "I'm sorry..."  
I close my eyes.  
There's a blinding flash of pain against my collarbone, ripping through my skin, blood blossoming through my top.  
"You're not dying today."  
I stagger back, crying out, hand flying to my neck. Two inches higher and he would have slit my throat.  
He holds his hands out. "I'm sorry...I'm...I'm sorry!"  
Then he's gone, and in his place is a piece of paper that reads _TWO_.

I scream, and the Heads' common room flies open, and someone must come out but I can't see them because the darkness has got me by then.

 **TWO.  
THANK YOU, AND YOU ARE WELCOME BECAUSE OMG MY HEART RATE HAS ROCKETED WHILE WRITING THIS.  
REVIEW PLEASE! EVEN IF IT IS JUST A COPY AND PASTED LETTER OF COMPLAINT FROM A DOCTOR FOR RAISING YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.  
Seriously though, thanks bunches,  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	9. A little bit irritated

**Disclaimer: It's not mine! Though I would love a billion pounds, that's for sure.  
Sorry for scaring y'all! I'm afraid this one is just as bad...  
Two chapters in a day! I'm spoiling you! Anyway, it could be three!  
Would you like me to post the possible second-to-last chapter today? It's ready to go, so I can quite easily! What do you think?  
Let me know what you think!  
Enjoy xx**

Madam Pomfrey sighs as Alice half carries me into the Hospital Wing, and points at the nearest bed as she bustles off to get bandages.  
"What happened now?"  
"He attacked me, Madam Pomfrey, the guy who's been threatening me," My voice is faint as I touch the gash on my collarbone again, paling as blood comes back on my fingertips, bright and crimson.  
"Oh God, him again-"  
She gestures for me to lie down as she bends over me, and I hiss as she wipes the cut with a stinging, sharp smelling potion.

"He could have killed me!"  
Alice finds my fingers on the duvet and squeezes them comfortingly.  
"I know. It's going to be okay."  
"James and that are still in Hogsmeade, I take it?"  
"Yeah, they must be."  
"They're where?"  
"Nowhere Madam Pomfrey!"  
"Doesn't sound like they're nowhere." She grumbles under her breath and draws her wand along my wound. I sigh as it closes up, skin knitting back together, pain lessening to a dull ache. My blood has soaked through my blouse and stained it, and I pick at it disgustedly.  
"Can I go now?"  
The Healer shines a light in my eyes.  
"Do you feel faint?"  
"I mean, I fainted, but that was just from shock. I don't feel faint or tired from blood loss, if that's what you mean."  
"Alright then. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids, and if you faint or fall asleep without warning to in the next hour or so make sure you are brought straight here."  
I nod and push off the bed to standing.  
"And Lily dear, make sure you go to Professor Dumbledore again, will you? This has gone on long enough. I personally can't believe they haven't done anything serious in the way of investigation or identification of the culprit."  
"Thank you Madam Pomfrey."  
I smile tiredly at her and leave the Hospital Wing with Alice, who looks furious.  
"This is ridiculous! You could have died!"  
She's turning the note with _TWO_ written on it over and over in her hands, as if it's going to give her instructions on what to do next, or spill who the shadowy boy was.  
"Did you not see his face?"  
"No. His voice was familiar, but I'm not sure who it was..."  
"Hopefully being around other students will jog your memory, yeah?"  
"Mhm. Hopefully."  
We turn the corner to the Heads' dorms, and Alice looks at me expectantly.  
"You going in?"  
"Um...could I sleep in the girls dorm with you lot tonight? I just don't know when James will get back, and I don't think it would be good...I mean, safety and all that-"  
"Of course, Lils, you can come sleep with us. I've probably got some pyjamas you can borrow."  
"Thanks Alice."  
Our hug is tight and desperate, like she's my life line, but I don't think she's enough to keep me from slipping under.

It's eleven by the time Remus and Sirius stagger through the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room, evidently both tipsy and babbling. Peter is behind them, with James bringing up the rear, all with idiotic alcohol-induced smiles plastered across their faces.  
"Lily!"  
James stumbles over and sits in between me and Alice on the sofa, squashing my best friend, who glares at him, irritated.  
"What's that on your shirt?" He prods the base of my neck curiously, and I swat his hand away.  
"I'll talk to you when you're sober."  
"But...I am sober!"  
He says indignantly, slurring his words and waving his hands in the air aimlessly.  
I scoff.  
James points his wand at himself and non-verbally casts the simple Sobering Spell the barman at the Three Broomsticks taught him in fourth year.  
"Owww..." He moans, rubbing his head, but his eyes have cleared and he looks intelligible so I poke him to get his attention and point at my collarbone.  
"Oh my God- is that blood?"  
"Yes."  
"What the hell happened?!"  
"I was attacked by our nameless lunatic, who could have killed me!"  
"...Lily-"  
"Wouldn't have happened if you'd let me go with you to Hogsmeade with you!"  
"I thought it was safer-"  
"Well it obviously wasn't, was it, because I could've have died and you four were off in Hogsmeade getting drunk, while I bled on the floor, terrified, and you left me, you-"  
The fear onset by the evening catches up with me as I start to cry, and stand up, wiping my eyes. "I'm going to bed."  
Alice gets up with me, staring daggers at James, and follows me up the stairs to the girls' dorms.  
"Was I too hard on him?"  
"No. I would have castrated him if you would've let me."

* * *

"Lily, I'm really sorry-"  
"It's fine, I can't be bothered to be mad at you, James."  
He has the decency to look ashamed, thank Merlin, or I'd kick him.  
"Sorry."  
"Yeah, good. Now let's just drop it."  
We're on our way down to breakfast, and I'm rubbing the thin white line on my collarbone as it itches, still healing inside. I had a look in the mirror, and it's probably going to scar.  
I'm still running my memories of last night over and over in my mind, mulling over the voice and the boy masked in shadow, because I know I'm missing _something_.  
"Can we go to the Owlery before we go down to the Great Hall, Lils?"  
"Sure," I say, waving my hand at him distractedly, and we continue past the Great Hall and out into the courtyard, where the wind is brisk and blows away the cobwebs spun by sleep.  
He's talking to me, James, but I'm not listening as we climb the Owlery steps, brain working in overdrive, because _I've nearly got it, I've nearly worked it out_.  
"-And then Peter says-"  
"Shush!" I hold up a hand and shove my fingers in my ears. "Sorry, just shut up for a second."  
"Okay…are you alright?"  
"Yes, shh!"  
I'm muttering under my breath as we stop at the top of the stairs, and I walk backwards into the loud, screech-filled room, ignoring the owls swooping over my head and the disgusting odour of faeces filling my nostrils as the cogs in my mind tick.  
Then it all clicks into place, all at once. I look up at James.  
"Aren't there two Trevors in Ravenclaw?"  
His mouth opens a little in understanding, and something flutters down from the rafters above me. A piece of parchment, no bigger than the palm of my hand.  
At that moment, James' eyes widen, fixed on something behind me. James reaches out in a panic, arms outstretched to grab me, to help.  
"Lily!-"  
The door slams shut, a harshly loud sound, and I can hear James scuffling behind it, fighting to open the lock. Trevor Bailey's quick breathing behind me is surprisingly audible among the sounds of the owls.  
"I'm guessing it was the first year Trevor in the Hospital Wing that night with the disease."  
There's a pregnant silence.  
"I'm sorry Evans."  
A white hot pain jumps up my spine as the spell hits me, and I crumple to my knees, falling forwards to hit the roughly hewn stone floor. The last thing I see is the paper, splattered with ink and smudged from its frantic, scribbled message.  
 _ONE._

 **ONE.  
Ah...well...umm...sorry about that?  
Don't forget to review if you want me to post the next one today/tomorrow!  
Happy waiting!  
She-who-loves-fanfiction xx**


	10. A little bit beautiful

**Disclaimer: IT'S NOT MINE. I WISH I COULD SAY THAT THIS CHAPTER WASN'T MINE. BUT IT IS. AHHH.  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  
GOOD LUCK X**

* * *

Waking up on the Forest floor comes with a sense of finality. A sense of relief, the kind of peace that only the inevitability of an event can bring. I haven't accepted it yet, though, that I will never live to reach my next birthday; that I will never marry James Potter and have children with him and grow up with him and see silver thread its way through his dark hair.  
Among the trees, there's a clearing, and I'm lying in the middle of it, school uniform rumpled.  
In front of me is Trevor Bailey, the Ravenclaw Prefect, and his wand is pointed straight at my head.  
Aside from his threatening posture, his face is contorted with shame and confusion.

"How's your neck?"  
"Probably scarred, thanks to you."  
"Oh." He looked disappointed, almost apologetic.  
"Ah, well, at least I won't live long enough for it to matter, eh?"  
"Don't say that."  
He sounds sharp, but there's a tremor of emotion as he speaks.  
"But you're going to kill me."  
There's a minute of loaded silence, like the deafening quiet after a gunshot.  
"Not yet."  
"Why not? Going to draw it out? Make it hurt? You don't need to make a big song-and-dance about it, if that's what you're talking about."  
He winces. "They want me to do it front of people. Put on a show."  
Despite the terrifying implications of what he's just said, I reply, "Who's _they_?"  
No answer.

"Trevor-"  
"Don't."  
"Trevor, Trevor, Trevor. You have a crush on James, don't you? You're in Ravenclaw, but you'd feel more at home in Hufflepuff. You're wearing odd socks right now. You're going to kill me wearing socks that don't match."  
I think I'm a little bit delirious, voice wobbly. I've gone into shock.  
"Shut up, Evans!"  
"Surely I can speak if you're going to kill me?"  
"Evans, look-"  
"It's Lily, remember? Unless you don't dare to call me that."  
"Lily…"

The sunlight filters through the gaps in the trees.  
"Trevor?"  
"Yes?"  
He could kill me, but he's just a little boy illuminated by the sun, with small tearful eyes and a trembling lip.  
"Why are you doing this? Who told you to do this?"  
"There's no one…I want to do this…I _have_ to do this…"  
"Why do you have to do this?"  
"Because…it's just…my parents…"  
I want to speak, but stay patiently quiet.  
"They follow the Dark Lord, and they want me to join him…and if I don't the rest of them…they'll kill me…my life will be ruined…Lily I have to…I'm sorry…they'll kill me if I don't kill you…"  
Trevor Bailey clenches his fists, and despite my fear and fury, I can't help but feel sorry for the fifteen year old in front of me. Not _too_ sorry, but sorry all the same.  
"I forgive you."  
"What?"  
"I want you to know when you do it, I have forgiven you. Others won't. They'll hate you. I might hate you, for taking away every day that I could have lived. But I have forgiven you, Trevor. I forgive you."  
The boy cries then, but his wand arm never strays from aiming at my heart.

* * *

It's only a few minutes later that he jumps as his wand lights up.  
"They're coming."  
I straighten my hair and wipe my face of tears, wanting to look proud and dignified, but it's to no avail; Trevor waves his wand and I'm floating on air, body propped up like a puppet, tied up on the Imperius Curse's silvery strings. A second later I'm writhing on the ground disturbing the rotting blanket of soil and dead leaves because he'll use the Imperius Curse to hurt people, this monster, but not the Cruciatus Curse, because when I scream for real he flinches like the sound is acid, like it's burning him.  
My forced shrieks fill the Forest air, scaring away the birds in the trees surrounding the clearing as a murder of crows dart off to the east, frightened by the sounds of the living girl dying, of the dying girl living.

When the group stampede into the clearing, it's with a final air. _The Last Crusade.  
_ I'm still shouting in fake agony, and amongst the noise the world seems to be in slow motion. I'm glad: I want to savour my last few minutes.  
I want to be able to see the sun.  
There are several wands pointed at Trevor, and James is near the back. His scream of anger mingles with mine, and Trevor lifts the curse, so I fall back, arms splayed, panting.  
"Stay back!" The Ravenclaw's voice shakes and Professor Dumbledore speaks so low it's almost a whisper, voice calm and collected, in a manner that annoys me.  
"You do not have to do this, Mr Bailey."  
"Yes I do." Trevor really does whisper, and he picks me up by the back of my shirt, and it's the only thing keeping me upright, held firmly against him.  
"I'm sorry."  
I look around, and my eyes meet James', who looks like he's about to collapse.  
"I love you, James."  
"I… _Lily_ …"

Trevor takes in a juddering breath, securing his arm around my chest, hiding my scar from the world, and prods his wand into my neck. I think he's crying.  
I know James is.  
I'm not.  
"I love you, Lily…"  
Professor Dumbledore says something, but I'm looking up at the trees, at the sunshine. There's a bird, and it chirps, tune beautiful and bright and full of hope.  
I want to hear it. I want it to fill me up.  
"Lily, I'm sorry."  
My breathing's slowed now, accepting, and I don't want it to quicken.  
The sunlight hurts my eyes, and I let it.

The bird sings out again, and I smile.  
" _Avada Kedrava."_


	11. A little bit pained

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!  
*places chapter on floor, pushes towards you hesitantly and runs for the hills*  
Enjoy? x**

" _Avada Kedrava."_

And suddenly I'm in my old living room with the postman. You know, the usual.  
"I…um…hello?"  
"Hello Lily."  
He's sat in my father's old armchair, adjusting his bright red mail uniform almost proudly.  
"Ummm…" I'm looking around in amazement, holding my hands out and marvelling at the solidness of them. "Wait…so…where am I?"  
"That depends. Where do you think you are?"  
"It…um…it sort of looks like my old living room, I guess…"  
"Really?" He looks amused, and I frown.  
"Why? Where do you think we are?"  
"This is…ah, what's the saying… _your party_ …"  
"What?"  
He smiles, scratching his stubble, and I cross my arms.  
"Am I dead?"  
"Not at the moment." The postman says it completely casually, nonchalantly, as if commenting on the weather.  
"But he used _Avada Kedrava_?"  
"For Unforgivable Curses, you can say the incantation until you're blue in the face but the intention has to be there. You have to mean it for it to be fully effective. That boy did not want to kill you, Lily."  
"So...I'm not dead?"  
"Not yet, no."  
"So, I will be?"  
"That's up to you."  
"It's...it's up to me? What?"  
"Do you want to die?"  
I suck in a breath, appalled. "What kind of sick question is that? Of course I don't want to…" Trailing off, I'm unable to say it, but a horrible little niggling thought crosses my mind. "Would it…if I did…you know, would it hurt?" I feel childish for even thinking it, ill.  
"Oh no," The old postman shakes his head. "Not at all my dear."

For a second I start to nod, then want to slap myself. I'm actually considering _dying_? _Seriously?_ After everything?  
It's just, when I look around, I know something. I could stay here, forever, in this living room. I could curl up on the sofa here, surrounded by the pictures of my parents and my sister and bask in the sunlight streaming in through the front window, forever.  
 _No_.  
"I am Tom." I mutter, practically inaudibly.  
"What?"  
My laugh is loud, proper, amused. "I am _Tom_."  
"I don't understand."  
"No," Breathing deeply, I say truthfully. "No, I want to go back."  
He smiles warmly. "Ah. Good. Off you pop then," The man points towards the door, and I pause.

"What's your name?"  
"You don't know?"  
"You were always just the postman."  
"Yes, and perhaps that's what I should remain." He winks, and I sigh, turning towards the door to leave.  
"Harry," His voice sounds suddenly. "My name is Harry."  
"Thank you," I grin. "Thank you."  
With that, I take a deep breath and seize the door handle.

While I'm gone, I see my family.  
My parents, curled up on the sofa, reading to me and Petunia from the big old storybook of fairy tales I got from my old house.  
Alice and I dressed up for Halloween, me as a zombie and her as a banshee in first year.  
Leaping over branches and logs as Marlene and I run, giggling, through the trees by the Lake, dodging each other's' reach as we play tag in second year.  
Helping Peter with his homework in the back of the classroom, watching his face light up as he understood the Transfiguration assignment he'd struggled with for days in third year.  
Remus and I sitting in the back of the library, trying not to laugh and eating chocolate discreetly to hide it from an irate Madam Pince in fifth year.  
Laughing until I cry in the common room, Sirius cracking jokes and playing Exploding Snap until the sun rose in the morning and our eyes drooped with tiredness, stomachs aching from uncontrollable laughter in sixth year.  
James laughing as I twirl around in the autumn leaves, some exactly the same colour of my hair, leaning in to kiss me.  
 _My family.  
I love them._

Everything hurts.  
" _Lily!" My mother is calling up the stairs, voice light and happy.  
_ I think I'm crying.  
 _"Dinner's ready!"  
_ It's too loud in here.  
"What's her name?"  
 _Lily.  
_ "Lily!"  
 _Is it?  
_ "Hold on for me Lily!"  
 _I'm trying.  
It hurts.  
Go away._

"Come on, Lily, breathe…"  
 _What?  
_ "Do we need the defib-"  
"Come on, breathe-"  
 _Breathing…?  
_ "Good girl, that's it!"  
 _I'm tired.  
_ "Okay, I think we better move her into the-"  
 _Leave me alone.  
_ "Alright, Lily, can you hear me?  
 _Unfortunately._

There's a loud noise near my head, and I open my eyes on instinct. Light burns my eyes, noises jumble in my head, and I want to scream.  
 _Take me back._ I wish I could shout. _Take me back!  
But take me back to where?  
_Then I'm gone again.

* * *

My dream is sweet, poignant, and tastes like flowers, birthday cake. I'm lying on the ground, sprawled out on a picnic blanket, surrounded by trees which are dressed up in the beautiful red and gold shades characteristic of autumn. Unusually, I'm alone, sitting quietly on the flannel blanket which is a boat on a sea of bronze leaves. There's a crackling of leaves, and I roll over to survey the person approaching.  
"Hello Petunia."  
"Hi Lily."  
My tall, skinny sister sits hesitantly down on the edge of the blanket, and I smile warmly at her.  
"Isn't it beautiful?"  
"It is. The leaves are the colour of your hair."  
I laugh, picking up a handful of the leaves and letting them go in the air so they flutter to the ground around me, like rain.  
"They are, aren't they?"

"Are you alright?"  
"I seem to be, so I think therefore I am."  
"You almost died, didn't you?"  
"Yes," My amused smile sobers. "I almost did."  
"How did you survive? He was going to kill you, how did you live?"  
"Harry said Trevor couldn't kill me because he didn't want to. For curses like the Killing Curse, the intention is as important as the incantation."  
"Right..." Petunia paused. "Harry?"  
"The postman." At her confused look, I giggle. "It's a long story."  
"The postman told you...the one who dressed up as Father Christmas one year?"  
"The very same."  
"And he...he's...like you?"  
"I...I'm not sure." I frown, then shake my head. "Magic is strange."  
"It sure is," She sighed, and then looked up at me, looking apologetic. "Lily, I'm sorry-"  
"Tuney, it's okay. Just come here."  
I wrap my arms around her slim shoulders and hug her, tightly.  
"I love you, Tuney, okay?"  
She pulls away, and there are tears in her watery blue eyes.  
 _"I love you too_."

I'm crying as I wake up.

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